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Weekly Boffin no. 27

September 14, 2017

If you have been near social media at any point in the last 10 years you will almost certainly be aware of fantasy sports. Either you play or you've been subjected to the frustrations of someone who does. From a pastime that started in 1980 with one man manually figuring out baseball stats to the multi-billion dollar industry it's become, the various incarnations of the game have come a long way. 

Football, cricket, US sports and even stocks and shares are covered in the fantasy world. Points are awarded and deducted based on performances and prizes are given for the highest scoring team at the end of the season. 

With such a plethora of choices available to the public it is only right that the Weekly Boffin seeks to widen the market even further. With this in we proudly present Boffin Recruitment's Celebrity 6-a-side: Race to the Bottom! 

As previously discussed before among these pages our ultimate aim is to get rich and what better way to do it than cashing in on Britain's fascination with both fantasy sports and celebrity. The aim is simple, pick a team of six celebs from the stated categories and see how many points your tawdry squad can amass over a six month period. 

 

The Categories are as follows and you'll need one of each.

Ginger Soap Star: Think Max Branning or the lad who plays Chesney in Coronation St.

Reality Show Contestant: Must have been a member of the public on first appearance. None of your Celebrity Masterchef riff raff here please. 

Faded Pop Star: Any member of S-Club 7 or Steps will be a major player in this category. 

Actor/Singer who was going to make it big in the US but is now back here and opening budget supermarkets in small towns: Sean Maguire and Alexandra Burke will score high. 

Sportsperson turned "character": You're looking for the likes of Andrew Flintoff or Jimmy Bullard to really go big. 

Controversial 70's Icon: They were Saturday night TV regulars 40+ years ago but now they're doing a bit of blue for the grown ups at a seaside resort mercifully far away from you. 

One you have assembled your crack team, points will be awarded for the following,

  • Terrifying political opinions. 

  • Appearances at Sugar Hut or Sheesh. Double points if it happens on the same night.

  • Appearances on a reality show other than the one that made them famous. 

  • Cross-pollination TV romance. If your TOWIE team member dates a Made in Chelsea alum, you score big!

  • To keep it vaguely sporty, if any of your team plays in a charity football match then it is your lucky day. Possibly the only reason to pick Jonathan Wilkes.

  • A spin off TV show portraying the serious side of any squad members is a score. Extra points if they cry/find themselves. 

  • Ringside seats at a disappointingly low key boxing/Mixed Martial Arts event.

As obviously brilliant as this idea is, our legal team has suggested we're on shaky ground when it comes to marketing this game to a national audience. As a result this will remain a pipe dream for a little longer but there's nothing stopping you and your office running something similar. All you need is a suspiciously large amount of free time at work and a thirst for the tabloid showbiz pages. 

 

 

 

Job of the Week

Team Secretary (Russian Speaking), London

 

  • Must be fluent in both written and spoken Russian.

  • Duties include booking travel, diary management, and meeting, greeting and liasing with clients. 

  • Previous secretarial experience in professional services is preferable.

  • Must have experience of using relevant software packages e.g. CCH and CoAct.

  • £26,000 - £30,000

 

On This Day


On this day in 1978, while walking across Waterloo Bridge in London, Bulgarian dissident Georgi Markov was assassinated by a Bulgarian secret police agent using a ricin pellet fired from a specially-designed umbrella.


What's On


Taste some of the finest gourmet street food in town at Vauxhall Street Food Garden, unusually open on Saturday and Sunday this week. Free to enter, this urban oasis boasts delicacies from all over the world, plus a Red Bull Garden Lodge offering a full cocktail menu, ice smoothies and frappes, and a Smirnoff bar. Read more here.


Fact Of The Week


Today is Buy a Book day. In an age of digital reading nothing replaces the thrill of buying a new book, the colours of the cover, the blurb and simply the feel of it. Usethis link to search for your local book shop. Expand your mind and help local business at the same time. Double win!

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